Vertu Constellation Review

A Nokia handset dressed in its Sunday best for a ludicrous amount of lolly


Vertu doesn't churn out phones, but when it does, they do look damn fine. On the streets they'd say: they 'ave got well fit bodies. Darlin. The latest in its wallet-walloping collection is the Vertu Constellation.

Dressed in the finest hide black leather and aluminium, phones don't come more attractive than this. They don't come much heavier either, weighing in at a pocket drooping 140g. It's about as heavy as carrying a small hammer in your pocket. We don't mind chunky, and the Vertu's design does have some panache. There's the laser etched ceramic touch keys that shout luxury and then there's the black and white screen. Classy. Not so goof for pictures, but, oh wait, there isn't a camera. Flip to the back to find a quarter turn dial to unlock the battery and slip in your SIM. Now call us anti-fashion, but this took 2 years to design and we have to use a screwdriver to get to our SIM card? Peculiar.

Beneath the Constellation's high end exterior, this is an entry level Nokia phone. Imagine Jade Jagger with Jade Goody's personality. What this blower does offer that your average blower may not is...hold your breath...flight details. Oh yes instant access to up to date flight times and delays. Handy if you happen to be heading to a forlorn terminal in West London. Not so handy if, like us, you fly as often as a flamingo.The usual suspects are here though- Quad band coverage, Edge support and Bluetooth. Standard. Talk time is fairly decent, fully juiced we're sure you'd manage a day on the stock market.

If you're looking for a phone that screams I'm rich and like style over substance, punt for this, if you're looking for a feature packed dog and bone you'd be better off with a Nokia 8800 Arte. Sleek design and packed with features